In almost every relationship I have encountered or been in myself Valentines Day has been such a big deal. It is the one day out of the entire year that is dedicated to everyone who has even a glimmer of a relationship doing something “romantic” simply because it is February 14th. Whether it being going to dinner and a movie, a romantic proposal on the beach, or even just that surprise of twelve long stem roses… it’s the day when you expect to get or do something. In theory, yes it’s great, because it is that day that is supposes to remind lovers why they fell in love in the first place.
Regardless, February 14th is a date which I detest, myself. Which as a girl, in today’s society… I am set away from the norm. I’ve heard many times that due to my opinion I am heartless and unromantic… when really I see otherwise.
Personally I think that Valentines Day lacks the “romantic“aspect that people seem to claim that it has. What is romantic about someone doing something on a day when they are “expected” to do it? In my opinion it would be much more romantic for that same bouquet of long stem roses to be delivered on a different day, a random day… when it is totally unexpected… that’s romantic. Most women… would disagree.
In the book “Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus” John Gray introduces that all set occasions tend to matter more to women. This includes occasions like Christmas, Thanksgiving, Anniversaries, Birthdays, and you guessed it... Valentines Day. Men seem to react equally regardless of the day, in other words you would be more likely to find a man thinking Valentines Day is “just another day” and to find a woman complaining about how crappy her Valentines Day was simply because it meant more to her.
I guess in this case I defy the “stereotype”… go me.
But, why is it that stereotypical women tend to value these holidays so much? John Geary writes that it is because of the fact that women’s feelings are closely tied to emotions and on special occasions emotions tend to run on high for most people. So on Valentines Day when something is done for a woman the actions seems ten times better because it is a “day made for love.”
In my opinion… I think that the idea of “romance” is so skewed in today’s society. There is no one set meaning so trying to obtain the actual concept becomes a challenge. Maybe to someone staying at home with that “special someone” and watching TV is what they call romantic… so why should they feel forced to do something out of the ordinary on this one day simply because society says that they should?
For more info on the book "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus" http://home.marsvenus.com/
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Oh man, I can’t BEGIN to tell you how relieving it is to hear that…from a girl! Granted, I’m most likely saying that because I refuse to acknowledge the fact that I’m just lazy and a wicked shitty boyfriend. In all honestly though, that day in particular has always bothered me because it seems so forced. Forced in the sense that it is yet another Hallmark created holiday solely to make money. Something as important as love should be celebrated perpetually. If couples want to choose one day in particular to re-celebrate their love (their anniversary for example!), it should be up to them as individuals. I just find the whole concept of picking one calendar day, basically at random, to celebrate the pillars behind Valentines Day is absurd and unnecessary because of the capitalistic influences tied in.
ReplyDeleteWOW, i agree with Mr.Paradise when he says it is relieving to hear this from a girl. I always wondered what was the big deal with V-Day. I feel we have been programmed generation to generation to see valentines day as a day of love. I think it gets more crazy during the high school faze. Personally I am a sucker for love and got trapped into this valentines day trick. Cant even remember how much money and time i have spent on that day. You want your girlfriend to be happy on that day, especially when other girls are walking around with big balloons and bears. Girls do it for the shine, to make their boyfriend look better than the others and get upset and emotional if they are out did. Valentines day lost its romance years ago. Ive seen people hook up just to recieve something on that day, outrageous! With it coming up in a few months, makes me think what will i do this year, since im single??
ReplyDeleteI have never been a fan of Valentines Day. This holiday makes me feel guilty. If my husband gets me something, I feel I have to get him something. Hence the guilt. All Valentines for guys are mushy. My husband would laugh if I got him a teddy bear or flowers. We have decided a nice dinner with the family is all we need.
ReplyDeletePersonally I break up with my girlfriends when valentines day comes around. Valentines day just gives girls excuses to fall in love with a boy that has no feelings for her. Also it's just an excuse for a girl to go to the mall and pick out 300 dollar shoes. Maybe this is just my experinces but I say cancel Valentines day forever.
ReplyDeleteI don't have a problem with Valentines day but to me its overrated. A man can wine and dine a woman all year round but forget Feb 14th and all hell breaks out. If you unconditionally love your partner, the relationship shouldn't be measured so heavily on a fake holiday made up by hallmark. The only judgement days should be birthdays and anniversaries.annual anniversaries not that 6 months bullshit
ReplyDeleteI would agree with you that random surprises like flowers is truely what makes a girl happy. I also don't really go overboard with the valentines day thing. My boyfriend and I usually just do a dinner around the same time. For me, I usually only go all out on birthdays and Christmas and only if I ever get married would I do the whole anniversary thing. I have known couples that shower eachother in gifts over a six month anniversary. I would never but I guess if both partners are willing participants then it's better.
ReplyDeleteValentine's Day does seem to be a pretty miserable holiday for a lot of people. I remember quite a few of my friends hating it. It just ends up making a lot of single people feel bad. Nowadays I couldn't care less, but I remember feeling like a loser in high school. Laaaame.
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